Life goes on~

Whenever I tell myself that I will blog more often, I always end up disappearing after lol

It has been a while. I didn't even remember to blog during my birthday month.

Not blogging much means I've been doing good.

We all know I only blog when I'm sad or when I wanna share my travel escapades.

Still trapped in this pandemic shit, so obviously, not traveling.

I have my monthly subscription of breaking down c/o PMS but other than that, I’m all good.

Peace of mind is highly addictive.

I love how I'm sticking to this year's resolution.

To always choosing to be happy and loving myself more. So far, so good.

Ty and I are almost on our 8th month.

I would say we are doing better.

This relationship has taught me more about myself and how my past relationships have affected me so much. It helps how Tyler has been so understanding and patient with me. He would always remind me that I should speak what’s on my mind instead of overthinking it and you know what? I still have a hard time doing that but when I do speak my mind, I realize how stupid it was to keep thinking about it and assuming the worst from it. Old habits die hard but I'm trying. Taking it one day at a time.

Time flew by so fast. I just wish this covid shit would die down already. It has taken a lot from people. Time, opportunities, dreams and even loved ones.

I haven’t gotten my vaccine yet but, hopefully, I’ll be able to be fully vaccinated before this year ends.

3rd world country probs lol

I know it's 2 months overdue but I want to post a few bday pics here just because I didn't get to travel or do anything new or anything at all but it was one of the best birthdays ever.
I felt so loved and special because my friends sent me cakes and took the time to greet me.
I’m very sentimental so even the littlest effort makes my heart flutter.

I got cakes from Charles, Erin, Ilaine&Onat, Dice, Jyl and Nian.

Katrina also sent pizza and chicken and Kate sent me some heavenly brownies.

Johnaley and Joey got me earrings.

Always thankful.

This was from Dice, Jyl & Nian

Cake from Charles

Cake from Ilaine and Onat

Cake from Erin

I don't wanna jinx it but, despite the pandemic, this year has been such a good year so far.

Manifesting the shit out of things that it's starting to frustrate me lol

Work has been good too. Can't believe it has almost been a year since I left acn. Never regretted it tho lol

I love the work life balance and the work environment that I have now.

I've been fangirling so hard for BTS. I can't even... I won't even start talking bout it cause I might not stop lol

Besides the good music and them being incredibly good looking and talented and funny, their content just gives that healing vibe. What they advocate for is just inspiring. Each member has that personality where you can relate with and learn from.

Okay, imma stop talking bout it but, in a way, this takes up a part of my daily life and I don't regret every second of it. No room to overthink or be sad for nothing.

But! Anyway, that’s about it with my life update tbh.

Haven’t been anywhere, haven’t been doing anything much.

Life has been put on hold. Can't do anything else about it.

I should really try to write more. I miss writing stuff I'm passionate about or just random shit I can come up with lol

And with that, I'll end this post,

Always choose to be happy y’all.

You again

I sometimes wonder if you still think about me like I think about you.
2 days ago, an email from you answered that for me.
I woke up with an email from you.
It caught me off guard cause I didn't think you'll email me again after how we ended our last conversation exactly 4 months ago.
My heart ached on how you started your email with remembering that it's my birthday soon.
It ached more on the part that you didn't say bye at the end of that email but said "forever & always" instead.
Yesterday, you decided to call me and wanted to show me something.
You were wearing the sweater I gave you. Prolly the only green sweater you own.
The moment we said hello, we laughed.

I don't know what to feel.
I've been missing you and it was so nice to know that you've been thinking and missing me too.
But I realized then that it wasn't enough to come back.
I guess, in a way, I grew.
I'm glad he reached out. It was touching to know that it's just not me.
It was nice to know that the person you're missing misses you too.
It was nice talking to him again.

But it's not enough to come back anymore.
It's not enough to fall into old habits.
I guess, in a way, I've moved on.

It took me 2 days to complete this post and turns out I didn't really have a lot to say.

26🏰 ✨

Instagram grid @ersse_

Damn. I’m old.
26 freaking years old and I celebrated my birthday at Hong Kong Disneyland. lol
I always wanted to go to Disneyland and I had a great time.

Thanks to my sister for taking candid pics of me althroughout this entire trip lol

Well, twenty fucking six.
Currently, I think I am at peace. I feel like I'm at peace.
I've managed to build myself back again to the state of where I always wanted to be.
Emotionally independent, loving myself better, not giving a fuck at all bout what other people has to say and just keeping it 💯.
I'm glad I was able to stand up again and never in a million years will I ever let anyone let me lose myself again.
Like I said, 2019 will be a strictly no dating year and I think God has been testing me cause I swear, every month, he sends someone new or from the past to disturb my peace. Lol.
But, seriously speaking, yeah, I've talked to a few but you know that feeling when you just rebuilt yourself again so you're so guarded that you don't even give a fuck... yeah, that's me right now.

Angelo, Mama, Erene and Me waiting for our train

Mama, Angelo, Erene and Me @ HK Disneyland

So happy I got to travel out of the country again 6 months after I went to Taiwan.
It was just a quick getaway though. I went to Disneyland to celebrate my birthday weekend with my family and then Ngong Ping Village to visit the Tian Tan Buddha.
Hong Kong was beautiful. Just like Taiwan, I love how efficient their public transportation is.
I'm so glad I survived an out of the country travel with my mom.
I love my mom but she cranky af when it comes to walking and commuting. lol
I swear she would ask me questions as if I live or ever been in Hong Kong. It was my first time in Hong Kong too btw.

Erene and I @ 'It's A Small World' castle

It feels so good to finally stand up again after a storm.
It's the best gift I could ever give to myself.
That feeling where you know your worth. That self love. I can't even describe how glad my heart is.
No bullshit. Not even bragging.
I wish everyone feels the same way I'm feeling right now.
It feels good not even caring what other people will say or think cause you know you're fine.
It is never selfish to love yourself first. It is never selfish to do what's right for you.

Climbed 1000 steps to get to this beauty. @ Tian Tan Buddha, Ngong Pin Village

I am thankful to everything that happened to me this year. My 'quarter life crisis' year lol
I became the person I thought I would never come back to.
I questioned my worth just because a certain person took me for granted.
I felt lost and unmotivated.
I felt like my career is going nowhere.
I loved and cared for everyone else but myself.

I'm so glad that I'm turning the page now and welcoming a new chapter with a happy heart.
Here's to another year!

25

Bakershill, Puerto Princesa, Palawan; 05/18/18

25 freaking years!
Wow. *cue in quarter-life crisis*
I can't believe I'm already this old.

5 years ago, I was just starting my first job at my dream company. I was in a "long-term" relationship. I was eager for success and growth. I was making money for myself. I’ve been independent since I started University but that was a different kind of independence. I don’t get allowances from my mom anymore. lol

5 years ago, I pictured myself being (at least) engaged by 25. I always wanted to get married 25 to 26-ish cause I want a year of honeymoon stage before my husband and I get pregnant. I didn’t wanna have a baby on my late 20s cause I'll be too old and I don't wanna be too old when my kid/s grow up. At the same time, I didn't wanna get pregnant too young cause I still have a lot to do with life.

So, now.. 5 years after.. the present..
I’m 25. Still working at my dream company. (I have attachment issues lol)
I can say that I have somewhat excelled in my career.
I’ve grown a lot as a person. Self-love, guys. It is a real thing. I swear.
My sister just finished college.. so yay! :P
I’ve been traveling, de-stressing lol
Not married but my boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year. We have plans but I’m sure all couples have those kinds of plans. Who dates people without the plan of spending the rest of their lives together right? So yeah.

5 years from now.. wow. I will be 30 freaking years old.
I can’t even imagine myself being 30. 30 GUYS. 30!!
For the sake of keeping the pattern of this post, I will do the 5 years from now thing even if I’m scared of it lol

5 years from now, I'll be 30 but probably still working.. I always say that if I’m not working in programming anymore, I wanna experience working in Target or somewhere simple. You know, a whole new world from programming but we'll see. lol Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love doing what I went to school for. (I have a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science) But, sometimes, I wonder how is it working outside of it. I bet everyone has that thought.. of going outside the box.

5 years from now, I'm *hopefully* married to the man I love, trust, respect and who feels the same. LOL. I probably have a kid or kids. Living in our house.. or an apartment. Big houses are nice to look and probably are cozy but I really think a not-so-big house or an apartment feels more like a home.. and less space to clean.. HAHAHAHA geesh. Yes, I still have my laziness in 5 years.

5 years from now, I’ve traveled a lot of countries.. or states ;) I always wanted to explore the world. That is one of my inspiration to hustle harder and, hopefully, by 30, I have crossed out a lot of states or countries (Iceland please!!) on the globe.

And that's it! I can't think of other "5 years from now" stuff that I want to publicly share haha

To close this off, I just wanna say that I am so thankful that I’ve come this far. Age wise, career-wise.
I am blessed that I have a solid support system. I wake up with a joyful heart knowing I have a family that loves and supports me, friends who accepts me for who I am and for who I am not and, last but not the least, my boyfriend who never fails to remind me what matters and what doesn’t matter in life when I tend to stress about everything in life. :P

Another year for adventures it is! 🌻

'Twas fun, Palawan

El Nido, Palawan

I went 5th wheeling at Palawan last May 15th to 19th.
It was a vacation I needed, away from all the stress I had for the past couple weeks.
Imagine the stress of needing to move out from your current apartment and finding a new apartment before 14th then having an early morning flight by the 15th. Thank God that I was able to pull it all off.

Traveling with family was fun. It was Erin's first time flying lol
Stressful sometimes cause the thing with my mom.. she's very organized and somewhat OC. She nags A LOT. But, hey, that what made my mom MY mom. lol

Erin "the first time flyer" and I on the plane.

Our flight from Manila to Puerto Princesa was 9 in the morning, May 15th.
Since I’m already in Manila, I just met them at the airport.
Props to AirAsia because our flights From and To Manila weren't delayed. Our flight back to Manila was even 30 minutes early. Can't believe that was possible. Haha
We were there so early. Check-in counters open 2 hours before the boarding time, we checked in a small baggage cause I had 20kg check-in baggage allowance. The bag was only 8kg lol
Flight from Manila to Puerto Princesa took about an hour.

Our itinerary was to go to El Nido for the first two days then go back to Puerto Princesa for the remaining days.
My mom already arranged our transportation and accommodation at El Nido. Yup, that's my mom. Haha.
Traveling from Puerto Princesa Aiport to El Nido took 5 freaking hours. It was so tiring af. We didn't really have anything planned that day but travel cause we already expected that it's gonna be that long but hell.
We stayed at RicGem, they have a family room that consists of 1 double bed, 1 queen bed, and 1 bunk bed. Room was spacious and clean. When we arrived there, it was already around 5 in the afternoon, so, we just rested for a bit then went out for dinner, walked around as well. People were very accommodating and nice there.

Waiting for our ride.. aka our boat lol

[From L to R] Mom, Angelo (Mom's boyfriend), Ricky (Erin's boyfriend), Erin, Me.

Second day in El Nido was island hopping day. We picked Tour C that consisted of Hidden Beach, Secret Beach, Snorkeling and Helicopter Island. I don't usually snorkel cause I'm afraid of stepping on sea urchins or corals. I gave it a try there and I actually enjoyed snorkeling there, just cause the boatmen were very careful and they ensured us that it was safe.
We ate lunch on the boat too! The food was so delicious, the mussels were so big. I swear I ate a lot of mussels on this trip. The whole island hopping wasn't tiring at all. It was all fun. The water was so clear, the sun was just perfect even though it rained for a bit when we were at the secret beach.

What a view

On the way to the Secret Beach

After we left the Secret Beach and after the rain

Helicopter Island

PHP 50 worth of fresh coconut juice at Helicopter Island

After that, it was our last night at El Nido and we were going back to Puerto Princesa in the morning so we just had a dinner by the beach. Seafood all the way! And for dessert, we had gelato. They have this "Gusto" gelato all over El Nido. It was so good.. even if I only had Mint Chocolate lol

Aftermath lol that sunburn doesn't really hurt at all

After breakfast, we began our journey back to Puerto Princesa. 5 butt numbing hours drive back to Puerto Princesa &, as usual, we didn’t go anywhere but the hotel cause we were tired.. and I swear, I love hotels. Hotels make me so sleepy. I love room service. I love everything about hotels. It's just so cozy.

Next day, they didn't want to go to Honda Bay or the Underground River so we just went to Bakershill Park. We had my birthday lunch there. Walked around the park then we went to the bakery to wait for the Ube Hopia.

Birthday Lunch at Bakershill

After that, we just went back to the hotel. Erin, Ricky and I took a dip at the pool around night time.
We have an early flight back to Manila and my mom is so OC with time so we slept around 11pm and woke up around 4am.

Our hotel was like 10 minutes away from the New Puerto Princesa Airport, we checked in and waited for boarding time. Our plane actually left 30 minutes early so that was great.

Our Palawan trip was fun. El Nido was beautiful. They asked me if I prefer Phuket or El Nido? I prefer El Nido. Not cause I'm from the Philippines, but because it was just so nice there. It was organized. It was clean. It wasn't anyway stressful. People were so friendly and accommodating.
It was also nice to celebrate my birthday with family. Ugh I’m old.

El Nido sunset

Still 24

I really suck at blogging lol

Pls ignore my wide forehead.. or not. whatever lol

Hello!
This will be a quick update cause I don't wanna spill all the beans here and leave nothing for my yearly mandatory after birthday blog post lol
I inserted a very recent picture of me above just to verify my blog that I’m still existing. lol
2018 hasn't eaten me alive yet.
We're already on the 5th month of this year and, of course, you know what that means... BIRTH MONTH!!!!! *insert cake emoji*

-end- lol

24

 

Wow. How time flew so fast. It feels like I was only 23 yesterday..... LOL ok I'm not funny

I forgot that it's my birthday today. lol
I didn't really do anything. At all.
I slept then went to work.
I'm planning on buying a green tea frappe at Starbucks later and claim my free cake.
That's it. Lol I know I'm boring and I feel sick. I have colds.
A lot of people greeted me today. I appreciate every one of them.

So, 24th year.
A 'thank you' is not enough to thank the big guy up there for everything that I have accomplished, for all the blessings He gave me, for all the struggles/challenges that made what I am today... Stronger, definitely wiser and more determined.
I know I said I wouldn't delete posts from the past cause those were real stuff and those struggles or sadness made me the person I am today but all I see is clutter... lol and besides, moving forward now right. Keeping all the relevant stuff though. Just removing some shit gradually.

Well, for the past years, my birthday day wishes were pretty generic. Like good health, more blessings and the like... Few times I've wished for someone to come along. That someone who will stay with a very stubborn, moody and paranoid person like me and I'd like to think that after years of praying, wishing and hoping, I finally got my wish. I met Andy. We've been together for three months now. Feels like forever, I swear. I've been the crappiest, the craziest, the moodiest that I have ever been and he's still there... taking all the crap I'm throwing at him.

This year, I still wish for the same. Good health & more blessings for my whole family and friends. Especially now that my grandmas and granddads are getting older and my great grandma is turning 91 this year.
For my personal wish, I wish for this to work. I want this to work so bad. So bad that I haven't blogged much about it cause I don't wanna jinx it. In fact, I haven't even blogged about anything at all and that happens when I'm happy. And I am happy. :)

They said that you should love yourself first. Invest in yourself first.
I can truly say that that is the key.. the key to have that joy in your heart and soul.
I spent the past couple years loving myself, taking care of myself, being independent, trying new stuff by myself, stepping out of my comfort zone...
This year, I can say that I have achieved that. Not perfect but I'm there.
Cheers for another year!

For better or for worse

You know you did something right in your life if you have friends who stick with you not only when you're at your best but most especially when you're at your worst.

I know I may have taken these two for granted. Well, not for granted, we just had some misunderstandings. I'm glad we got through all that and still have each others' backs. It's as nothing has changed. We just got stronger and more open to each other.

Last weekend, we celebrated our birthdays together.
I know, we're clingy and corny like that. Lol.
We were booked a hotel room at The Villas, SBMA but few days before last Saturday they called and said they were booking us at Buma Hotel because they had some shit going on at the building we were supposed to stay. It was a bummer but we didn't let that ruin our plans. After all, what's important is we were together, right? :)

More or less than 9 years with this two..
After everything I went through, everything I said, everything I did, they are still there.
I can't thank God enough for giving me friends like these two.

23 years of existence.
I can say that we all have learned a lot.
Life wise.
Friendship wise.
Love wise.
Family wise.
I'm glad that we are all in this journey of reaching for our dreams.
I can't ask for better friends cause I already have the best.
Sounds cliche but I wish us all good health, more birthdays and blessings to come!!
Joyful hearts and peaceful life.

If you're both reading this, I love you two <3

23

Twenty-three

First time to celebrate my birthday at work...

It was nice. Typical me, who doesn't take compliments and greetings well, managed to get through the day with multiple personal birthday greetings.

After birthday lunch with Project Pie friends

I had a mini birthday lunch with my Project Pie friends and they managed to surprise me with a cake.

I so appreciated the effort but I think I lack emotions on expressing myself. I just suck at surprises. Lol. But I really appreciated it. I love it actually.

Of course, my friends won't forget to post embarrassing stuff about me on Facebook which made me laugh nonstop. Especially when two of my guy friends posted VIDEOS. One is a drunk video of me, which is so funny! And the other one is a candid video of me. It was all too sweet ❤

Soooo... 23. How does it feel?

It feels just like 22 now lol jk

23 feels like another exciting year for me. I can't wait to for what's to happen.

I'm just glad that as I grow older, I really am starting to figure things out.

Like with friends, I am slowly (but surely) filtering out or cutting off people who just don't value me or appreciate the friendship. I am very sentimental. I could cross oceans for someone important to me... they know that. I will always have their back as long as they are true to me. I am just glad that I can go on with my life without worrying about people who don't even worry about me. It's refreshing, no drama, just love.

Or like with career, I am very happy with my career path but I'm still open to exploring other paths. I just have to think more through it and take risks. But we'll see, we'll see. Eventually.

As for the love area, I am not rushing. I am still single. No rush. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.

I am ready for what year 23 has to offer.

Thank you, Lord, for another blessed year.

Still 22

Rainy Tuesday night and I'm sitting on my bed with music playing in the background trying to recall everything that happened to my 22 year old self.

Still 22

What happened this year?

• I just figured I didn't blog anything for my birthday month last year except a random pouring my feelings out post
• I blogged stuff about Alexon that his girlfriend read and told him bout it that's why he talked to me for "closure" which ended well, I guess. Right now, I can surely say that it was all for the best and that Alexon will always remain to be one of the best guy friends in my life even though we don't talk anymore. I mean, we have seen each other, hung out, and it turned out okay. So I guess, time heals.
• Last year, we went to Boracay. Which was so fun. It was a fun adventure. I had the chance to try Parasailing!!
• I had an intense crush on Stephen Curry... still have...
• I blogged about food so much.
• I made time to see my friends more. I love this part because now that we're all living an adult life, it's pretty hard to get together because of our work schedules... but I'm glad that I happened to balance work and life this year & will surely continue doing so.
• I made it a point to take my sister out and spoil her a bit. Growing up.. my momma didn't spoil us. If we want something, we gotta work for it. Get good grades, do chores, be good.. it made me and my sister value everything we have and to study hard in school. We never failed a subject. EVER. But now that I am working and somewhat paying for bills, I just think it's right to wanna spoil both of them.
• Oh and also this year, I had my first single life anniversary. A year since I broke up with Edz. It was nice... refreshing.. I learned a lot from the break-up. Countless things that I continue to apply on my life.
• Edz and I saw each other for the first time since the break-up.
• I met David. Lol. This one's a funny and a very long story. Let's just say that David somehow became a way for me to open my eyes to fake people and to not trust that easily which I'm so grateful for.
• I bought myself a Fujifilm Instax Wide 300 camera!
• I met Matt.
• Giana and I made up.
• MJ kinda, wanna, coulda, woulda... lol I don't even know how to describe it cause it was such a blur.
• I met Cory who turned out to be a fuckboy but doesn't act like it when he was around me which was so weird.
• Then there's Tyler. Another fuckboy but we're just friends...

.....

There has been so much stuff that happened on my 22-year-old self.

But right now, a year before I turn 23, I can say that I'm so glad that about everything that happened.

I learned a lot from this year.

From self-worth to knowing who my real friends are to healing wounds to slowly reaching for my dreams.

I couldn't ask for more.

I'm so ready for what Year 23 may bring.

05/10

10th day of my birthday month and I received this gorgeous bouquet from Alex.

Alex met me through Giana. He saw me on Giana's pictures and he asked who I am then he added me on Facebook. At first, the conversation was so boring. Maybe because it was a bad timing. He was about to move to his new apartment and I was.. occupied. Lol. But anyway, after a while, we talked even more and got to know each other more. He has a very nice heart. He is funny. It doesn't get dull when we talk on the phone. He has his way of making someone special.

I am not a fan of flowers. Especially roses because I think they are overrated.

But I must admit that this gesture made me smile and I felt somewhat special.

I know, I know, they are just flowers. Like I said, I'm not a fan of flowers.

This is my first official bouquet of flowers. Lol.

I know, I'm lame. To defend my ex-boyfriend or past flames, I always say that I don't like receiving flowers. Well, I like sunflowers. But no one has ever given me one. But anyway back to topic.

Receiving my first bouquet, I found myself googling on how to make them last longer.

I just feel a bit sad that it's too pretty to die yet. Hahahaha I am not making any sense and I don't know how to end this.

Long story short, I love the flowers. I appreciate Alex's gesture.

And after all, it's for my birthday anyway.