Yang

Accept the fact you will grow apart from people you've had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go.

Growing apart from friends has always been a big deal for me.
I'm that friend who will just set aside shit just to not mess with everything.
I'm that clingy friend who randomly messages just to say how I find something funny.
I'm so clingy to my friends that I can't even go a day without talking to them.
There's nothing wrong with that right?

I always treated Kdin as one of the good friends I have in my life since high school, almost like a sister really.
I was the Yin. She was the Yang.
Yes, we called each other Yin and Yang. We're cute like that. Lol
We used to walk all the way from school to home while drinking sodas and some cheap candies we bought with our supposed to be tricycle fare money. It was simple but it was those moments that whenever I remember it, I can't help but smile.
We may kinda not talked as much as we did in high school.. just because we went to different universities... and I don't know.. really, I don't know why we just fell apart. Maybe it was also my fault that I didn't reach out, that I didn't try to make constant communication.

But I guess, you can't force a friendship.
I tried reaching out but I guess it was all too late now.
And it's hard to reach out to someone who doesn't want to.
I'm just happy that she looks happy.
It's nice to be able to see her on her Snapchat stories, laughing and being Kdin. (That's a good thing)
There's that warm feeling in my heart knowing that she's doing good.
I wish her all the best.

Runaway with me

Say it again for me cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm the only one who blows your mind

It scares me how I'm so scared that I am liking someone too much.
I know, I'm weird. Crazy weird.
I don't know why I am acting like this.
I don't know why it scares me how much I like him.
I'm so scared that I even attempted to just cut ties last night.
It's not just scared like thoughts of scared but like shivering scared.
Like you're so scared that you can feel your heart ache.
It's weird, I know. Crazy.
It terrifies me more that whenever I decide to take two steps backward, he just keeps taking three steps forward.
I'm too scared of everything. I don't even know what to think.
I want it so bad. I want it so bad that I can't deal with it.
I can't deal with these feelings.
And whenever I can't deal with my feelings, I just tend to think of running....
It's hard to walk away when he just keeps holding your hand and running away with you.
Oh god, I'm so screwed.

PS. I don't know if this post makes sense. I didn't reread it