Who would've thought I'd get you

I was never the kind of girl who likes receiving a bouquet of flowers, especially roses.
I think they're overrated and I'm not saying this to make me look cool.
I think buying flowers is a waste of money. They're expensive af. lol
But being in that moment, receiving a bouquet from someone you love and care for... it's a feeling I can't put into words. (But I'm talkative, so, of course, I'll try haha)

It was so unexpected.
It was a Tuesday.
Andy and I were FaceTiming before I went to bed around 8 in the morning.
I woke up around 2 in the afternoon because the dogs were barking and my phone kept on ringing.
I even thought it was the stuff I bought online last Monday & I was thinking how fast it got shipped. Lol
I was so sleepy that I wanted to just sleep and not mind them but the dogs were freaking noisy.
Soooo.. I went down and when I opened the door, I saw a delivery guy holding a bouquet of flowers and I was about to get pissed cause I thought they got the wrong address but they said it was for me.
I was half-asleep signing a paper with my name on it, receiving the bouquet of roses.
I asked the delivery guy who is it from and he just told me that there's a card.

He didn't even write a name!!

When I opened the card, it didn't even have a name on it.
I called Andy on FaceTime and immediately asked: "WHAT DID YOU DO?"
I gotta give props to his acting skills cause he really looked like he didn't know what I was talking about until he laughed cause I was going crazy thinking who could possibly send me flowers.

It was so sweet because there wasn't a special occasion.
I appreciate it so much, not because of the flowers, because the gesture made me feel so special.

I guess I can now understand the girls who post bouquets on social media.
And, of course, I'm so extra that I needed to take a picture with it. LOL

Just in case Andy's reading this...
Hi babe, I love you. Stop stalking

Just a phase, indeed

July 2012

Yesterday, I had dinner with Kelly & Mau.
We were catching up and all that & we came into a certain topic where it made me realize how much I really changed.
I realized how dependent I was on my emotions and how impulsive I was on my decisions.

I was in a /long distance relationship/ all throughout college. The distance wasn't that big but you know what I mean.
It was a messy relationship.
Edz didn't think twice of dropping me when a new girl came alone and I admit I got attracted to too many other guys. lol
I know, I know, it was so immature.
Let me throw the "I was just a kid back then" excuse in.

The relationship was so messy that I know that we both know that we were staying for the wrong reasons but we still tried to deny it and tried to work it out.. & eventually, didn't for me.
To be honest, I can't remember details from it anymore cause that was so more than 5 years ago.
It'll be so bad to name drop, at least the ones that were mutual, but I don't think anyone reads my blog anyway so.. There was Carl, Nikko, Yco, Yao (again, I know. *facepalm*), Mark, Alexon.
Those were the ones on top of my head and I don't wanna dig deeper lol

It's so weird how I was like that back then.
Weird that it makes me cringe how much of a slut I was. HAHAHAHA
I can't think of any other reason why I was like that back then.
It looked like I can't live without a guy in my life. *cringes*
Right now, I can say I'm not that person anymore. It feels great.

When I broke up with Edz, I made it a point to really move on and focus on self-love.
At first, it was hard. It felt like I was just gonna eat my words and get back with Edz cause that was THE cycle but thinking of the things I want in life made me take the first couple steps away from that.
I'll admit I did some talking and dating around.
The difference was, this time, I wasn't taking any more bs and I was single.
I focused on improving myself, doing stuff on my own... I think I overdid it cause I don't even wanna watch movies at the cinema with anyone anymore. lol

And right now, I'm in a relationship. It's long distance... waaaaay bigger than the last one but I no longer feel like how I was back then.
I feel happier, independent & that I know better now.
I don't talk to other guys that way anymore, I've learned the art of 'dedma'. lol
Before Andy, I used to go out a lot, go to the bar & drink almost every weekend but I don't know why I don't anymore.
Andy doesn't prohibit me to go out and even if he does... well he won't cause he knows I don't like being told what to do.

I don't regret the stuff I did before. I don't regret being immature.
I don't regret going through that phase cause I can now say that I've been through that, I know what that felt like and I'm over it.
That all made me the person I am today and I'm glad of who I am right now.