26🏰 ✨

Instagram grid @ersse_

Damn. I’m old.
26 freaking years old and I celebrated my birthday at Hong Kong Disneyland. lol
I always wanted to go to Disneyland and I had a great time.

Thanks to my sister for taking candid pics of me althroughout this entire trip lol

Well, twenty fucking six.
Currently, I think I am at peace. I feel like I'm at peace.
I've managed to build myself back again to the state of where I always wanted to be.
Emotionally independent, loving myself better, not giving a fuck at all bout what other people has to say and just keeping it 💯.
I'm glad I was able to stand up again and never in a million years will I ever let anyone let me lose myself again.
Like I said, 2019 will be a strictly no dating year and I think God has been testing me cause I swear, every month, he sends someone new or from the past to disturb my peace. Lol.
But, seriously speaking, yeah, I've talked to a few but you know that feeling when you just rebuilt yourself again so you're so guarded that you don't even give a fuck... yeah, that's me right now.

Angelo, Mama, Erene and Me waiting for our train

Mama, Angelo, Erene and Me @ HK Disneyland

So happy I got to travel out of the country again 6 months after I went to Taiwan.
It was just a quick getaway though. I went to Disneyland to celebrate my birthday weekend with my family and then Ngong Ping Village to visit the Tian Tan Buddha.
Hong Kong was beautiful. Just like Taiwan, I love how efficient their public transportation is.
I'm so glad I survived an out of the country travel with my mom.
I love my mom but she cranky af when it comes to walking and commuting. lol
I swear she would ask me questions as if I live or ever been in Hong Kong. It was my first time in Hong Kong too btw.

Erene and I @ 'It's A Small World' castle

It feels so good to finally stand up again after a storm.
It's the best gift I could ever give to myself.
That feeling where you know your worth. That self love. I can't even describe how glad my heart is.
No bullshit. Not even bragging.
I wish everyone feels the same way I'm feeling right now.
It feels good not even caring what other people will say or think cause you know you're fine.
It is never selfish to love yourself first. It is never selfish to do what's right for you.

Climbed 1000 steps to get to this beauty. @ Tian Tan Buddha, Ngong Pin Village

I am thankful to everything that happened to me this year. My 'quarter life crisis' year lol
I became the person I thought I would never come back to.
I questioned my worth just because a certain person took me for granted.
I felt lost and unmotivated.
I felt like my career is going nowhere.
I loved and cared for everyone else but myself.

I'm so glad that I'm turning the page now and welcoming a new chapter with a happy heart.
Here's to another year!

Drk

I can't believe I'm blogging about you again.
It started with a "Happy birthday!" and for some reason we're talking again.
I mean, it's not like we stopped being friends when we ended. It's not like we parted in a bad way.
I know it doesn't exist but, in this situation, it did. We parted in a good way.

I must've done a bit good in my life to meet someone like you.
You broke my heart but I know you broke yours too and the worst part is we couldn't avoid it that time. It was inevitable.

It has been a long time since we last talked.
You would occasionally like and view my posts and stories but that was it for the past four years.
Every time I see how happy you were on your posts, it made me happy knowing that you’re happy.
It warms my heart how after all this time you still feel bad for what happened to us.
You still feel bad about it that you had to apologize again. It's crazy how amazing you are.
I told you that you didn't have to apologize again because I understood it back then.
You said, "Well that’s how you know it was real :)" and that melted my heart.

Hearing your voice again felt like home.
Hearing your laugh felt so comforting.
You still know me so well.
I can't believe that after all this time you can still make my heart happy.

But, of course, me being me... I'm scared of talking to you like this again.
I keep thinking that what if we mess it up. What if we can't part in a good way this time.
I always felt proud about how we ended it the last time because it was just so calm and good and something we can always go back to.
I'm scared because I don't want to lose you for good.
How we ended before always made me think that you're always gonna be there.
We will always be a part of each others lives.
I don't wanna mess that up that’s why I'm keeping all my guards up.
You will always be in my heart. No matter what.

I love you that much that I'm willing to ignore all the signs cause I want you for keeps. I want you in my life. I want to preserve all our memories. I can't even think of a bad memory when we were together. It was just so perfect.

I'm smiling right now with teary eyes because I want this so bad but I can't.
I would rather be friends with you than try again and be nothing, you know.
Maybe that's how you know you really love someone... when you're willing to let the intimate feelings go because you don't want to mess it up and lose them.

.

So I told her my heart felt the same that it did before. It never changed. My feelings never went away, girl. My heart never closed the door.

3 & 4 of 12; Year 2019

Guess who broke her 'atleast one blog post and book per month' resolution? LOL
I'm getting so bad at writing before the month ends just cause I've been so busy with work and when I'm not busy with work, I'm stuck in bed trynna get back all the sleep I lost because of work.

So I decided to just make this my March and April post.
Of course I’m gonna make a separate post for my birthday month as always.

Books update first.
My previous book, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, wasn't really for me. I had a hard time finishing it because it didn't really interest me anymore or maybe reading it depended on my mood that day. Like some days, I liked it and I’m intrigued by it but, most days, I get bored and I feel like the story is all too deep that I can't relate anymore. The book was well written. I would love to see the movie adaptation for this.

Feb Book

I obviously haven't finish my next book which is 'The Alchemist'.
I looooooove this book even if I haven’t finish it. Would definitely talk about it on my next post when I finish it. I just have to manage my time more. I feel like I don't really accomplish much outside of work now. I feel like I'm just working all the time.

Enough about books.
Other update about me...
I had my ears pierced. One on my left earlobe and one on my right upper cartilage that has already closed because I removed because the earring was making the piercing too big.
I have developed a liking for Maki. lol
I had a chance to catch up with Judee and Kat. Also with Tanya and Kate. I love how bonding with them still feels normal even if we don't talk to each other everyday.
I had a lot of compliments from the team and onshore teammates this sprint. I don't know why I feel so motivated with work.
What else? Life has been steady but busy.
I had a crush on my onshore but, as of this writing, I don’t anymore. lol
I have friends at work now yay

March and April flew by so fast I swear.
I have a lot of books pending, I should definitely find time reading.
Always thankful to the best guy up there for everyday ♡