Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Unfinished

Just when I was ready to let you go..
Just when I've accepted that we're just gonna be friends..
I thought it was a dream, a beautiful dream, but then I woke up and you were still there.

You were dropping hints that you like me more than a friend.
I wasn't taking it seriously.
But it was when you said, "I'm so happy. It's like falling in love again", that made my heart ache.. in a good way.. and in a bad way.
I don't know if that made my heart skipped a beat but it somewhat felt like that.
How can a heart like yours love a heart like mine?

Everything feels so perfect right now.
Despite me being me, overthinking and all my emotional baggage.
It feels surreal and just.. perfect.

But, I know, I eventually have to let you go.
I wish I didn't have to.
Maybe that's just why it happened this way.
Universe wants me to take this feeling with me, so when I remember you, I'll remember that someone as awesome like you loved someone like me.

I need to pick this up some other time cause I feel... blank.
I've been trynna continue or say more in this but all I can feel is my heart breaking.
Prolly PMS or whatever. so yeah

Dahil una pa lang, alam naman nating mayroong hangganan
At kahit ipilit, hanggang dito na lang.. Hindi tayo pwede

Sunday, May 17, 2020

You again

I sometimes wonder if you still think about me like I think about you.
2 days ago, an email from you answered that for me.
I woke up with an email from you.
It caught me off guard cause I didn't think you'll email me again after how we ended our last conversation exactly 4 months ago.
My heart ached on how you started your email with remembering that it's my birthday soon.
It ached more on the part that you didn't say bye at the end of that email but said "forever & always" instead.
Yesterday, you decided to call me and wanted to show me something.
You were wearing the sweater I gave you. Prolly the only green sweater you own.
The moment we said hello, we laughed.

I don't know what to feel.
I've been missing you and it was so nice to know that you've been thinking and missing me too.
But I realized then that it wasn't enough to come back.
I guess, in a way, I grew.
I'm glad he reached out. It was touching to know that it's just not me.
It was nice to know that the person you're missing misses you too.
It was nice talking to him again.

But it's not enough to come back anymore.
It's not enough to fall into old habits.
I guess, in a way, I've moved on.

It took me 2 days to complete this post and turns out I didn't really have a lot to say.