Short but not too sweet

It makes me wonder how high in love I sound like almost a week ago and now I'm soooo... not.
I don't know if I fucking jinxed it.
I mean, he is still there. I was so happy when he said he'll extend his visa for another month or two to hopefully get a working visa (to stay longer) because it meant that we're gonna see each other more... but the problem is.... me.
I don't even know how and why I am feeling this way.
It feels like I don't want this anymore. Whatever this is.
It feels like having withdrawals.
I meant it when he asked me to promise that he won't lose me. I promised him that I won't go anywhere.
I hate myself for feeling like this.
It's like the moment I felt that I was getting too attached, It made me take steps back.

He is great.
I love how he can make me smile and laugh without trying so much.
I love how he puts his arms around me and kiss me on top of my head or my forehead even if there are people around.

Okay. I should stop saying all these things.
Funny how I can think and I know how great he is but I don't even feel anything.
Lol what the fuck is wrong with me?