I can't be more than friends with you
I remember how much I wanted to blog about him back then.
I remember writing a post but halfway through it, deleting it.
Not that I don't want him here. I just don't want to jinx it but it ended still.
If you've read this blog from the very beginning, you'll notice that most of the things I write about is either when I'm sad, angry, depressed or the like. I rarely blog whenever I'm happy. I don't know why. It just feels like my words are not enough to give justice to how happy I am/was. So, I find it easier to blog when it's all over.
It has been over between Matt and I... whatever it was.
I didn't mention anything about him on this blog before because I don't wanna jinx it.. but it ended anyway.
For reasonable reasons though.
He was awesome. He still is.
He was as clingy as me. He always finds a way to reassure me. He makes me feel good about myself.
We can talk all day with no dull moments or awkward silence.
It was all pretty awesome actually. It was like a fairy tale. I can't even remember if we ever fought.
It was all easy and non-toxic.
But, you know what they say, if it's too good to be true.. it probably isn't true.
It was the best while it lasted.
But sooner than later, reality came biting us in the ass.
From almost saying I love yous to I can't be more than friends with you.
I was mad and hurt because I was willing to risk it.
I was willing to make it work. Applying for an onshore opportunity at work to be able to move in the United States. To be closer.
I always thought that love knows no distance but thinking about everything that has happened now... maybe long distance relationships don't really work.
As I've said, I was mad but I, eventually, got over it and understood his point.
We haven't even met in person yet.
But how can you feel something so real for someone you haven't even seen in person?
The distance is big. It will never work out.
But why does my heart feel like I was prepared to take the risk?
So, maybe, it was all for the best that it ended sooner.
That doesn't mean he just disappeared. He is still there for me. As a friend.
He never gets tired of listening to my drama, to my rants, and my random shit.
He's always there to cheer me up whenever I'm sad.
He cures my boredom. All the time. Lol
He's like my one snap away friend.
Thinking about it all, I am glad we didn't go pass through being friends.. because if we did, I don't know if we will still be talking until now.
And, I guess, everything really happens for a reason.
For the better.
It has been over between Matt and I... whatever it was.
I didn't mention anything about him on this blog before because I don't wanna jinx it.. but it ended anyway.
For reasonable reasons though.
He was awesome. He still is.
He was as clingy as me. He always finds a way to reassure me. He makes me feel good about myself.
We can talk all day with no dull moments or awkward silence.
It was all pretty awesome actually. It was like a fairy tale. I can't even remember if we ever fought.
It was all easy and non-toxic.
But, you know what they say, if it's too good to be true.. it probably isn't true.
It was the best while it lasted.
But sooner than later, reality came biting us in the ass.
From almost saying I love yous to I can't be more than friends with you.
I was mad and hurt because I was willing to risk it.
I was willing to make it work. Applying for an onshore opportunity at work to be able to move in the United States. To be closer.
I always thought that love knows no distance but thinking about everything that has happened now... maybe long distance relationships don't really work.
As I've said, I was mad but I, eventually, got over it and understood his point.
We haven't even met in person yet.
But how can you feel something so real for someone you haven't even seen in person?
The distance is big. It will never work out.
But why does my heart feel like I was prepared to take the risk?
So, maybe, it was all for the best that it ended sooner.
That doesn't mean he just disappeared. He is still there for me. As a friend.
He never gets tired of listening to my drama, to my rants, and my random shit.
He's always there to cheer me up whenever I'm sad.
He cures my boredom. All the time. Lol
He's like my one snap away friend.
Thinking about it all, I am glad we didn't go pass through being friends.. because if we did, I don't know if we will still be talking until now.
And, I guess, everything really happens for a reason.
For the better.
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