Life goes on~

Whenever I tell myself that I will blog more often, I always end up disappearing after lol

It has been a while. I didn't even remember to blog during my birthday month.

Not blogging much means I've been doing good.

We all know I only blog when I'm sad or when I wanna share my travel escapades.

Still trapped in this pandemic shit, so obviously, not traveling.

I have my monthly subscription of breaking down c/o PMS but other than that, I’m all good.

Peace of mind is highly addictive.

I love how I'm sticking to this year's resolution.

To always choosing to be happy and loving myself more. So far, so good.

Ty and I are almost on our 8th month.

I would say we are doing better.

This relationship has taught me more about myself and how my past relationships have affected me so much. It helps how Tyler has been so understanding and patient with me. He would always remind me that I should speak what’s on my mind instead of overthinking it and you know what? I still have a hard time doing that but when I do speak my mind, I realize how stupid it was to keep thinking about it and assuming the worst from it. Old habits die hard but I'm trying. Taking it one day at a time.

Time flew by so fast. I just wish this covid shit would die down already. It has taken a lot from people. Time, opportunities, dreams and even loved ones.

I haven’t gotten my vaccine yet but, hopefully, I’ll be able to be fully vaccinated before this year ends.

3rd world country probs lol

I know it's 2 months overdue but I want to post a few bday pics here just because I didn't get to travel or do anything new or anything at all but it was one of the best birthdays ever.
I felt so loved and special because my friends sent me cakes and took the time to greet me.
I’m very sentimental so even the littlest effort makes my heart flutter.

I got cakes from Charles, Erin, Ilaine&Onat, Dice, Jyl and Nian.

Katrina also sent pizza and chicken and Kate sent me some heavenly brownies.

Johnaley and Joey got me earrings.

Always thankful.

This was from Dice, Jyl & Nian

Cake from Charles

Cake from Ilaine and Onat

Cake from Erin

I don't wanna jinx it but, despite the pandemic, this year has been such a good year so far.

Manifesting the shit out of things that it's starting to frustrate me lol

Work has been good too. Can't believe it has almost been a year since I left acn. Never regretted it tho lol

I love the work life balance and the work environment that I have now.

I've been fangirling so hard for BTS. I can't even... I won't even start talking bout it cause I might not stop lol

Besides the good music and them being incredibly good looking and talented and funny, their content just gives that healing vibe. What they advocate for is just inspiring. Each member has that personality where you can relate with and learn from.

Okay, imma stop talking bout it but, in a way, this takes up a part of my daily life and I don't regret every second of it. No room to overthink or be sad for nothing.

But! Anyway, that’s about it with my life update tbh.

Haven’t been anywhere, haven’t been doing anything much.

Life has been put on hold. Can't do anything else about it.

I should really try to write more. I miss writing stuff I'm passionate about or just random shit I can come up with lol

And with that, I'll end this post,

Always choose to be happy y’all.

i know, you know, we know

I know, you know, we know

You weren’t down for forever and it's fine

I know, you know, we know

We weren’t meant for each other and it's fine

I tried to look for a blog post where I'm officially saying goodbye to you (cause I usually do that "closing the door" blog post) but I couldn’t find it.

So here it goes.

It has been over a year since we opened our damaged hearts to each other.

I still can’t believe we would be something like that.

Whatever it was.

We both laid out our cards on the table, whatever was left of it, and still found each other beautiful.

I'd like to think we helped each other heal.

I remember telling you how my heart wasn't just broken, it's shattered.

And you told me, with a positive tone, that you'll pick up my shattered pieces and put your broken pieces with them and make it whole.

It was comforting. It was a nice feeling knowing there's someone to walk with in that journey.

It's sad that we promised to be in each other's lives no matter what happens but obviously we aren’t anymore.

But I am still happy on how things have worked out.

I would like to think I wouldn't be as I am without a nudge or two from you.

From checking up on me and making sure I’m okay to tending to my needs.

From listening to my rants to dealing with my mood swings.

I'm always going to be thankful for you.

It's been a year now, I think I’ve figured out how, how to let you go and let the communication die out

It's been a year now, I think I've figured how, how to think about you without it ripping my heart out

I wouldn’t be in the place I am today without the lessons we both realized and learned.

I'm happy, my heart and mind are both at peace.

I hope you are too.

We both deserve that. We both deserve the best.

We both deserve the love that stays.

We went through all that and even God knows that we truly do.

I honestly don't know how to end this post and I don’t have anything more to say.

So I'm just gonna leave it at this.

I hope we won't need to fix each other in another life.

I asked you countless times to say bye but you never did.

So I'm gonna say it.

Good bye, Johnny.

This other side of paradise

2021. Wow. We've come this far.

Despite what's going on with the world, I'm still looking forward for this year.

I am claiming it. I am fully manifesting everything I have planned this year.

I am claiming it. It will happen. It is happening.

Halfway through this month and I can say that it has been nice.

Heart, ok. Happy. At peace.

Mental Health, there are still sad days for no or random reason but still ok.

Body, haven’t had soda since the year started. Less sugar intake.

I suck at blogging when I'm happy but I'm trying to make it a habit to do it or even write about it.

I figured it sucks I only write when I’m sad, that’s why I only remember detailed sadness and just like high level feeling of happiness.

Gotta work on saying what's on my mind and how I’m feeling regardless if I’m happy or sad.

And by that, I just wanna say it and make it official on my blog that... I am in a relationship.

To be honest, I didn't wanna say that out loud or like say it to other people just because y’all know I've been there, done that. I don't wanna assume shit lol I know talking and being in a relationship are two different things but yes, we've defined it. Let me just say I still get butterflies when he tells other people we are dating now and when he tells me he loves me. Eeeeh ok imma stop :">

I swear my past relationships or whateverships ruined me so much. I get so happy with the littlest things lol

But, yeah, we are dating ♡

This is not news to my close friends cause I've told them during our get togethers over the holidays.

I am happy. Overwhelming kind of happiness that just brings happy tears to my eyes.

It's also heartwarming hearing my friends tell me how they’re happy for me and how I deserve this kind of love and happiness.

They know what I've been through. They witnessed how broken I was. I can feel how genuine their happiness is for me.

My traumatized ass is still trynna adjust over how mature and healthy this relationship is but we'll get there. We always do.

My past relationships made me think that saying what I feel or what I’m thinking would always result to arguments and I will be apologizing for it in the end. It is so hard being used to just keeping it all to myself.

My past relationships gave me trust issues so high that made me think if we don't talk on the phone for at least 20 hours a day, he's probably tired of me or doesn't want me that much anymore or cheating on me lol

My past relationships taught me that fighting everyday or at least most of the week is normal.

Bless Tyler's heart because that man has been patient af with me.

Tinotopak ako as always but he manages my toyo all the time. lol

I would say something and would assume a fight out of it but he will be all understanding. Ugh. lol

My doubting ass would always be doubting lol but he manages to reassure me in his own ways.

I can talk about it all day but let's just leave it at that.

It helps that we are friends for so long before we even got into this.

We've known each other better. We get along so well.

We got into a lot of mess before. We even resisted a lot of times.

All those years, we just remained friends. Being there for each other's heartbreaks.

But, maybe like he said, maybe this is fate at play.

I guess it's just right timing.

I am claiming it.

This peace of mind and happy heart, I’ve longed for this.

I deserve this. He deserves this. We deserve this.

No more doubting, no more negative thoughts.

Not gonna miss ya, 2020

12/31/2020

It's that time of the year again.
Ending it again with a post reflecting on everything that happened this year.
To be honest, this year literally felt longer that any other year.
Spent most of it at home, working from home, getting drunk alone at home lol
Despite everything I feel like this year made me find myself again.
The quarantine has taken its toll to everyone’s mental health but, hey, I’m just glad we all made it through.

I wanna do the same thing I did last year by posting pics for each month but if I do that, all I’ll be posting is pictures of me at home so where’s the fun in that? lol
Let’s just do this in bullet style and get it over with!

January

Awts, Mau and I at Kelly and Kevin's wedding

Had to hike for 2-3hrs reach Blue Soil Hills

Sagada with work friends

This selfie was taken after 3 consecutive days of solo drinking and sulking then Johnny and I started talking and I felt this good so I had to take selfies lol

• Isabel, Carl and I went out for dinner and drinks at Timog

February

Weekend beach trip with these two <3

Samgyup dinner with Jyl and Daisu & yes, I dyed my hair back to black

March

• Corona decided to be a huge bitch. This month is the start of lockdown.
• Didn't really do anything much, just stayed at home and worked.
• Johnny's birth month. He was so happy with the blanket I got him.

April

• Still on lockdown
• Occasionally went at my grandma's to have lunch with family

May

Birthday 2020. Yes, this was from my film camera. Boodle fight lunch with family.

• Johnny told me he loves me on my birthday
• Still on lockdown

June-July

Sums up my mood for June and July lol

• Was still on lockdown
• Decided to submit my resignation by end of July

August

Finally got to see Johnaley after months

Virtual catch up with Daisu, Jyl and Nianth

Got some stuff from 3M and my work laptop yay

• For some reason, this month I decided to talk to Johnny less.
• Decided to get a new car.

September

Bangs with Tita Maan and Erin

• First month with the new company. It was refreshing. Work life balance is real lol

October

New kitty alert!! Eevee

Also, got new specs from Sunnies. And I feel like my hair grew longer

November

Tito Famz bday celeb

Di kami kumpleto but reunion with friends cause Anthony is back!

• This month I realized I started enjoying fridays and holidays again
• Can't explain further cause I don't wanna jinx it but Tyler and I are doing good <3

December

Wasn't expecting this at all. Given that I've been with 3M for 3 months and getting this. I feel so appreciated. Definitely one of the highlights of this year.

Nanay Josie turned 94

Eevee growing huhu

Decided to get bangs for a change lol

• Decided to fully cut off Andy, Johnny and everyone connected to them. Realized that Johnny wasn't really worth it after all. Still thankful for him but ya know.. it was just not worth it after all.

Overall, still thankful for this year. Thankful that me and my family are safe. This year really made a lot of us appreciate time with our families more. This pandemic needs to be over! I hope as this year ends, it takes Rona with it lol

~ I didn't get to travel this year as planned because obviously travel ban, lockdown and everything. Prolly one of the reasons I went crazy.

~ I didn't expect this year would be the year I leave Acn but still not regretting it. It just felt like it was the right time to leave. My former manager has been asking me to come back but, so far, I’m enjoying my new company. Everyone is just so welcoming and I’m enjoying the new working environment. Can't wait to meet everyone in person.

~ New Year 2020, I told myself I wouldn’t be sad over Andy anymore. I don't wanna be sad on new year because of him anymore cause I've been sad for the past couple new years because of him. As I’m writing this post, it's new year's eve and I can say that I'm not sad over Andy anymore or even Johnny. I’ll take that as a win.

~ So, how am I feeling? I'm feeling good. My heart is happy. Tinotopak ako from time to time but it is such an amazing feeling when you choose happiness and peace of mind over anything. Finding myself, knowing my worth, regaining that self love.... aaaaah it makes all the heartaches, tears and everything in between worth it.

I am hopeful and looking forward to a great 2021.

Claiming everything already. Manifesting it everyday.

Happy new year everyone!