Idle time

I really don't have anything relevant stuff to say.
It's just it's Friday and it seems like everything at work has been fixed or somewhat okay now.
I've been working for 10 hours every day since last week plus weekend work. I even worked for 15 hours the other day because of deadlines. Lol
I still enjoy it though. I just feel so pressured and exhausted.
So glad I got to rest this weekend without anything work-related on my mind.
I can finally continue everything I'm watching on Netflix lol (I know, I'm boring)

So life updates!
Andy and I are in our 8th month. I know. Time flew so fast that it didn't feel like it was that long already. It doesn't feel like we're on our 8th month but it feels like we've known each other forever.
My great grandma is gonna arrive next week.
I'm excited for next month! I will surely blog about it here!!
I miss my friends even if I talk to them on group chats.

One time, Andy and I were talking about my friends. How I have separate group chats for each like:
I have a group chat for my high school best friends. Johnaley and Joey.
I have a group chat for my 3rd-year high school best friends. Johnley and Kerstein.
I have a group chat for my 4th-year high school best friends. Andhe, Kate, Anthony, Yeng, Kelvin & Joseph.
I have a group chat for my college best friends. Darwin, Sabel & Patrick.
I have a group chat for my girls. Mau, Jazmine, Frances & Kelly.
I have a group chat for my two closest friends from work. Nian and Dice.

I know. That's a lot.
I just love keeping in touch with my friends. Lol clingy since birth.
I think, as we grow older, we value the friendships we have in our life even more.
We make it a point to cherish and appreciate each one of them who stayed true to us through the years.

It's not a secret that I lost a couple of close friends in the past couple years.
I still care for them and I wish them happiness even if we're not friends anymore.
The last thing I heard about them was one just got married & had a kid then the other one is busy exploring the world cause she's a flight attendant.
I still have love for them but I have accepted that as you go through life, you will lose some people along the way and that all happened for a reason.
You can never force friendships and you should never try to.
"If you're not losing friends, you might not be growing up"
(^ read that somewhere)

LOL
So, yeah, I love every single one of my friends.
I can say that I finally got my circle sorted out this year.
No more of that bs, just da realessssst. Cheers!

Who would've thought I'd get you

I was never the kind of girl who likes receiving a bouquet of flowers, especially roses.
I think they're overrated and I'm not saying this to make me look cool.
I think buying flowers is a waste of money. They're expensive af. lol
But being in that moment, receiving a bouquet from someone you love and care for... it's a feeling I can't put into words. (But I'm talkative, so, of course, I'll try haha)

It was so unexpected.
It was a Tuesday.
Andy and I were FaceTiming before I went to bed around 8 in the morning.
I woke up around 2 in the afternoon because the dogs were barking and my phone kept on ringing.
I even thought it was the stuff I bought online last Monday & I was thinking how fast it got shipped. Lol
I was so sleepy that I wanted to just sleep and not mind them but the dogs were freaking noisy.
Soooo.. I went down and when I opened the door, I saw a delivery guy holding a bouquet of flowers and I was about to get pissed cause I thought they got the wrong address but they said it was for me.
I was half-asleep signing a paper with my name on it, receiving the bouquet of roses.
I asked the delivery guy who is it from and he just told me that there's a card.

He didn't even write a name!!

When I opened the card, it didn't even have a name on it.
I called Andy on FaceTime and immediately asked: "WHAT DID YOU DO?"
I gotta give props to his acting skills cause he really looked like he didn't know what I was talking about until he laughed cause I was going crazy thinking who could possibly send me flowers.

It was so sweet because there wasn't a special occasion.
I appreciate it so much, not because of the flowers, because the gesture made me feel so special.

I guess I can now understand the girls who post bouquets on social media.
And, of course, I'm so extra that I needed to take a picture with it. LOL

Just in case Andy's reading this...
Hi babe, I love you. Stop stalking

Just a phase, indeed

July 2012

Yesterday, I had dinner with Kelly & Mau.
We were catching up and all that & we came into a certain topic where it made me realize how much I really changed.
I realized how dependent I was on my emotions and how impulsive I was on my decisions.

I was in a /long distance relationship/ all throughout college. The distance wasn't that big but you know what I mean.
It was a messy relationship.
Edz didn't think twice of dropping me when a new girl came alone and I admit I got attracted to too many other guys. lol
I know, I know, it was so immature.
Let me throw the "I was just a kid back then" excuse in.

The relationship was so messy that I know that we both know that we were staying for the wrong reasons but we still tried to deny it and tried to work it out.. & eventually, didn't for me.
To be honest, I can't remember details from it anymore cause that was so more than 5 years ago.
It'll be so bad to name drop, at least the ones that were mutual, but I don't think anyone reads my blog anyway so.. There was Carl, Nikko, Yco, Yao (again, I know. *facepalm*), Mark, Alexon.
Those were the ones on top of my head and I don't wanna dig deeper lol

It's so weird how I was like that back then.
Weird that it makes me cringe how much of a slut I was. HAHAHAHA
I can't think of any other reason why I was like that back then.
It looked like I can't live without a guy in my life. *cringes*
Right now, I can say I'm not that person anymore. It feels great.

When I broke up with Edz, I made it a point to really move on and focus on self-love.
At first, it was hard. It felt like I was just gonna eat my words and get back with Edz cause that was THE cycle but thinking of the things I want in life made me take the first couple steps away from that.
I'll admit I did some talking and dating around.
The difference was, this time, I wasn't taking any more bs and I was single.
I focused on improving myself, doing stuff on my own... I think I overdid it cause I don't even wanna watch movies at the cinema with anyone anymore. lol

And right now, I'm in a relationship. It's long distance... waaaaay bigger than the last one but I no longer feel like how I was back then.
I feel happier, independent & that I know better now.
I don't talk to other guys that way anymore, I've learned the art of 'dedma'. lol
Before Andy, I used to go out a lot, go to the bar & drink almost every weekend but I don't know why I don't anymore.
Andy doesn't prohibit me to go out and even if he does... well he won't cause he knows I don't like being told what to do.

I don't regret the stuff I did before. I don't regret being immature.
I don't regret going through that phase cause I can now say that I've been through that, I know what that felt like and I'm over it.
That all made me the person I am today and I'm glad of who I am right now.

Love finds you

I pray to God that I don't jinx this.
I've been holding myself back to blog or post anything about this guy 'cause I'm too scared to jinx it.
In the past, whenever I feel happy with someone or like something is kinda going good, I somehow jinx after I post or write or talk about it.
He isn't a secret at all. I talk about him with my close friends and my sister. My mom knows about him.
I just don't blog about him or post much on social media.

It has been half a year now.
We've been together for 6 freaking months.
Can you believe that? Yeah, me neither.
It has been a rocky start for us. Ya know, the basic. Exes, past stuff, adjustments and all that but we made it through all that.
It just went by so fast. It doesn't feel like 6 months at all.
I guess, this is what genuine & lasting happiness feels like.
What they always say, "Time flies so fast when you're having fun" & hell that's so true.

I know this sounds so cliche but, trust me, I mean it when I say Andy is the best boyfriend ever.
He can tell how I'm feeling the moment I answer the phone and say "hello".
He can tell if I'm thinking bout something even if he can't see or even if I'm not talking.
He understands how I feel and why I feel that way.
He makes me feel special by appreciating even the little things I do or say.
He's not afraid to talk about the hard topics.
He supports me with everything I do and want.
He believes in me.
He doesn't hesitate to tell me when I'm doing something off or wrong.
He just sees through me.
He treats me so well.
I'm so comfortable with him and it's so crazy.
I don't even know why I'm listing everything but I can go on about everything all day.
I guess I am new to this stuff. The stuff on how a real relationship should be.
Cause if you know me or read my blog, you'll know that my past relationship was crap and toxic af.
I think I have deleted some posts and it made me cringe. I can't believe I let someone treat me that way for so long.
But, in a way, I'm still thankful... cause maybe this is God's reward for me.
And damn, I'm so thankful.

I am happy... that joy in my heart, the butterflies I feel in my stomach, the contentment, that peaceful feeling that everything's gonna be okay.

So, Andy, if you're reading this... well, damn, stalker much? JK! I love you, baby. Forever and always. We gooooooooood lol ♡