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Better late than never!
Happy New Year, my imaginary readers.
New year, a new book to make, new chapters to build, new chances... so use it wisely.
Goals set and plans are made. Let's get it on!

Spent New Year's Eve with the family.
I can never imagine celebrating it any other way.

Y'all have a fruitful year ahead of you! Less drama, more fun! :)

Top & Shoes: Cotton On; Skort: Forever21; Bracelets: Juicy Couture & Pandora

2014 mandatory blog post

Wow. 10 days left for this year.
Oh, how time flies so fast.
I had an awesome year. This year was a life changing year for me.
I had a lot of down moments but it was all worth it.
I learned & realized things I never knew I would. I guess that's one of the perks of getting older.

2014 highlights (or things I can remember that happened this year):

• I GOT PROMOTED. This was the best highlight of my year. Well, for my career. Career milestone. I was not expecting but I was really hoping for it. So happy that everything I worked for paid off. I was a back end java developer for the deals website for a retail company. It was hard because I was the only offshore back end developer. I got trained for hybris. Got pulled out to that project to work on a company prototype that uses hybris, the one that will be demoed to clients. Then after that worked on a pioneer project for an airline that has a golf club perk, which is now live. Check it out! Currently working for a Spanish retail company's admin page, which is a pioneer also. It was a nice start for my career. Thank you, Lord.
• Stepped out of my comfort zone. Letting go of someone or something will always be the hardest thing to do for an overly and easily attached girl like me. I tend to be over caring to my friends. I call it caring but you can classify it as clingy too. Yes, you can say that I have attachment issues. I trust people so easy. But for this year, I tried my best to overcome that shit. And as of today, I guess I managed to do it. I am still clingy.. but only to the people I trust and care for who cling to me in return. Ehem best friends. <3
• Broke up with Edz. I can also put this to the "Stepped out of my comfort zone" bullet but I just wanted to separate it because it is another "highlight" of my year. Being with Edz was like a break from reality. He was like my temporary amnesia pill. Temporary. Because as soon as it wears off, reality slaps me like a bitch. Twice. I see that life is not that simple. It is complicated. And every choice you make will have a big impact to your future. I tried to ignore the facts and my realizations several times. But how can I stay with someone I can't see the future I want with? I can't just stay because it was safe. Safe that I won't grow old alone. But I realized that I don't want to grow old like that. Almost 6 years with him was like a rollercoaster ride. Mostly down but I don't regret anything. He will always have that special place in my heart. My first serious relationship and hopefully, not the last.
• Quality > Quantity. This one is very self-explanatory. I always knew that having less true friends is greater than having a lot of fake friends. I always regret losing friends or people I care about. But this year, I finally learned to apply it to my life. It was hard. Cutting off people I care, or cared, about... Cutting off people is much easier than to care for them, knowing that they continuously stab me in the back. Life is too short to have friends who talk behind your back. Life is too short for fake friends.
• I learned to be independent. Like doing things alone and not thinking of what people will think of you. This year, I managed to eat in diners alone, going to the cinemas to watch movies alone, shopping alone, getting coffee alone... there were lots of things I did alone. Since I am single, I took advantage of that idea. I felt lonely a lot of times but it was peaceful lonely.
• Spoiled my sister and my momma. Sharing my blessings with my family will never be a problem for me.
• Guilty pleasures a.k.a luho. I don't really feel guilty spoiling myself with the money or goods I worked for. So. Yeah.
• Braces. I got braces again. Heeeh and I'll be having my hair permed in a couple of days. So, hello new me for 2015 hahahaha

That is all I can think of right now and I'm pretty sure I'll be lazy to even continue this.

But all in all, I am so happy, blessed and thankful for this year. It was a life changing experience.

Don't even know what to expect for 2015 because this year was so great.

Hoping for the best but expecting the worst, indeed.

No more U-turns

As of this writing, I am almost 2 months single.

Getting out of an almost 6 years old relationship is a struggle.
Memories, promises, and the plans you both made together are your worst enemies.
I can't say that I've fully moved on or that I no longer cry when I remember the things we used to do, or I don't get teary eyed anymore when I listen to a song that reminds me of him... because, to be honest, I still do.
In a scale of 1 to 100 percent, I can say that I am 60% over it.
Well, not that over it.. like, I have moved on even just a bit.
You must think that it's a big number to be in this early.. but for me, it's not. It's just about right and about time.

I have learned a lot from this break-up.
I learned that I deserve better.
I learned that no one can effectively help you but yourself.
Yeah, friends are there to remind you things that matter and comfort you when you are at your lowest point but it will always come back to you.
You hold the wheel. It's your choice if you're going to move or going to hit the brakes or take the U-Turn.
Right now, I can feel myself moving. Moving slowly but surely.

Some of you may think that I am only saying crap because I am having a "spur of the moment" kind of thing.. but naaaah. With or without... Let's call him Alex... With or without this Alex, this will remain my point of view. Besides, there is nothing going on with me and Alex. He lives miles away from me. My friends know me too well to know that long distance relationships were and still, aren't my thing.

One of the reasons I got out of my recent relationship is that there are so many things I wanted to do. For my career, for my family, and for myself.
The relationship felt like it was holding me back and relationships shouldn't make you feel that way. It should motivate you and inspire you to aim for more.

I guess, getting older is rubbing on me. Finally knocking some sense out of me.
I may be the same old Erisse who gets confused by the and appreciates the little things but I know that I am slowly getting better and knowing what's best for me.
Like closing chapters, getting over my attachment issues... Step by step and making progress. *hugs myself* :)

Short and random

What's worse than a getting a heartache is creating your own heartache.
It's that feeling of knowing that it can end anytime or that it just can stop one day without any warning at all.
You don't even know what to do, or what to say, or how to deal with it.
No matter how much you try to stop, you always end up going.
You always end up saying, "I'm waaaaaaaaay in too deep, man"
Sounds like the same old Erisse I thought I left behind.
The difference is I can't even blog about this new chapter because I'm too scared to even open myself to that chapter of my life.
I should maybe give it more time, and if this lasts, then I'll blog about it next month.

Hoping for the best, expecting the worst.