Warning: I feel emotional and not the right kind of emotional. It's the second day of my period and I feel crazy
Do you ever get that feeling when you see something that reminds you of someone.. someone that was once meant the world to you.. someone you thought who will be there for you no matter what.. And you can't help but feel that ache in the space he left in your heart? Yeah, that.
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody. Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
You can't help but reminisce how it was back then.
How he looked at you with those James Dean daydream look in his eyes. (Yes, still a Swiftie)
How he made a way to show you how much he feels.. well, felt for you.
How he crossed bridges to get to you.. well, he didn't literally cross bridges but yah know.
How he made you feel like you're so special when you can't even find something special about you.
How he held your hand.. making you think like he wouldn't ever let go.
How you would look at him just to find him staring at you like you're the only girl in the room.
How vocal he was of how he felt cause it was his way of reassuring you.
Can't help but think this is wrong, we should be together. Back in your arms where I belong
It's weird how I can feel all those emotions again but, I know, I don't want it anymore.
I don't wanna be with him and not because he obviously doesn't wanna be with me but because I don't feel the same way as I did before... I can feel those emotions but I'm not in those emotions anymore.
I've changed, he has changed. We both have changed a lot.
We aren't the same as we were back then.
Cause I loved and lost the day I let you go
Maybe in another lifetime, it wouldn't be as fuck up as this has become.
Maybe in another lifetime, you would choose me instead.
Maybe in another lifetime, it wouldn't be as complicated.
Maybe in another lifetime all the pain I felt will be worth it.
Maybe in another lifetime I wouldn't run away when things get too serious because I'm scared of committing or attaching myself to someone who will leave just like you.
Maybe in another lifetime, it will be as simple as "I love you, you love me. You make me happy, I make you happy"
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round
But maybe I'm just wandering through the idea now and just letting these emotions take over me while listening to S Club 7's "Have you ever" on loop.
I know I have already closed the door to that phase in my life but nights like this make me wanna just pour it out in here and hope that, eventually, one day, it wouldn't make this kind of reaction out of me anymore.
The past is a nice place to visit sometimes.. to remind you of all the lessons you learned, all the mistakes you shouldn't repeat.
The lessons that made the person you are now. The lessons that serve as an evidence that you survived.. that made you stronger and wiser.
