Happy 2016!

The first day of the year and I'm a bit sick.
It won't stop me to enjoy my remaining vacation days though.

As usual, we celebrated New Year's Eve at my grandma's house.
It was a bit different this year but, regardless, we still had a nice night.
I can never imagine celebrating new year differently.

Distance

"Box: Now, look, I have done the long distance thing. And it is hard. As hell. And it doesn’t matter how good the relationship is, it literally can just rip apart. Look, it is just very hard to be far away from the person you love for months at a time."

The quote is from a movie.

Does love really know no distance?
I used to believe that if you love someone, the distance would never be an issue.
Distance is just distance. Love will always be greater than the distance.
And all that shit.
But after more than three different situations I have encountered that was because of the big distance between us that's why it didn't work or wouldn't work, it woke me up.
It woke me up to the sad reality.
That distance is something.
That distance is relevant.
That distance is hard.
That distance is shit.
I know, I know, maybe it's just with me. It's just me that can't make a relationship work through the distance... Lol hell no

There's this college friend who had a girlfriend who is in the same country but an hour plane ride away, she cheated. They broke up.
There's this school mate. Couple years younger than me. He was in Australia. She was here in the Philippines. She found someone else who can be there for her physically. She broke up with him.
There's this college friend. Girlfriend went to UAE. Couple weeks after, he cheated. Girlfriend flew back here. Clueless. Found out he cheated. Broke up. But eventually got back together. Lol stupid, yes.
There's my best friend and her boyfriend before she migrated to Canada. Broke up because he didn't have enough time. Time diff is shit.

I could go all day with the people who didn't survive the distance.
Love knows the distance. It hurts to not be able to survive it.
It hurts to know that love is not enough to make it through the distance.
It hurts to be told that he can't be more than friends with you because it will never work even if you guys make a way to see each other every time you can.
It hurts to be told that he won't let someone who is there pass for someone who is miles and miles apart.
It hurts to be told that you shouldn't stop yourself to meet other people even if he's the one you want because the distance is big
It hurts to know that he gave up because he can't take the distance anymore.

I always tell myself and that someone that it will get easier.
There are a lot of ways to communicate.
That we can always make time and ways to visit each other.
But at the end of the day, I know that it's not.
It will never get easier. It will be hell.
It will kill you slowly inside. Until you have lost all your faith in love and fate. Like me.

First Girlfriend Material

A few months ago, he was rolled into the project I'm in.
I can still remember how his smile caught my attention. I'm a sucker for guys who have cute smiles. That kind of smile that reaches into his eyes. Lol
As days passed, I realized that I got this itsy bitsy crush on him. We talked every once in a while. He used to randomly message me on Lync just to say a joke or say Hi.

When we moved to Eastwood, The testing team were left back in Mckinley and he is from the testing team. Given the circumstance, he still never fails to message me every day. Whether work related or not, he would make it a point to always say hi. That's when the teasing started. His team mates and some of my team mates would create a group chat just to tease us. I would just ride along, don't wanna be a fun sucker even if deep inside me is questioning if I really like me. Just because he answers as if he really likes me.

When our project ended, that's when it got serious. Well, not serious serious.
He still messages me every day. Asking me how I am. All that stuff. I thought it was nice of him or maybe he was just bored.
Then one day, he asked me who is my current boyfriend. I said none and asked him too,
He said he doesn't have a girlfriend. He never had a girlfriend.
It surprised me. He is good looking and very nice.
But then, I thought maybe he was very studious in college that's why having a relationship never came to his mind. Or maybe he is too torpe to ask someone to be his girlfriend.
And I was kinda right in the latter part. Several conversations passed and he can't even tell me what he really feels. I mean, I'm all in into meeting in person and telling me how he feels but time is really shitty. Work is shit too. Lol
But I know, I know, everything happens for a reason. I don't wanna rush whatever it is... if it is really true.

The over thinker inside of me can't help but to over analyze everything.
I even consulted few of my close work mates since they know him and some of my friends too.
My work mates are excited for me and they think that he has nice intentions.
I think he has nice intentions. I think that he is too good for me. I think that I'm not deserving to be his first girlfriend.
But when I think about him, I just can't help but smile as if he is one of the good things that happened in my life even though nothing much has happened.

Up to this point, we haven't really cleared things up as I am in Olongapo and he is in QC.
He has work til next week and I'm on vacation already.
All I can do is pray and hope. I guess. If it really is something.
I am making myself even more confused than before lol

Don't be a douche

I hate people who lead other people on.
I don't know why they do it. I think they are selfish, self-centered, attention seeking douchebags/bitches.
I mean, if you don't like a person, don't make them feel like you're into them or that they have a chance on you. It's just so fucking wrong.
I know no one wants to be lead on, so why do some people do it?

I had my fair share of some guys "liking" me. (cmon, I'm not that ugly. *sad puppy eyes*)
I never ever ever lead someone on. It's more the other way around for me. I'm always the one being lead on. Lol
But I'm not ashamed of it.
Why would I be ashamed of it? It's not my fault that the person I liked lead me on. It's his self-issues or maybe he just liked the chase.

People who lead other people on deserves to be alone.
They deserve to rot in hell. Alone.

So, guys & gals, let's play a fair game.
Don't give someone false hope. Don't even give them half the hope.
If you aren't 100% into it then get the fuck out of it.
Don't give the pathetic "I don't wanna hurt him/her" excuse because it's fucking pathetic. Like beyond pathetic. Do you think it won't hurt when he/she knew that you're leading them on?
Telling someone the truth, no matter how it hurts, is better than prolonging the lies and making them believe that they have a chance.
 Don't wait for karma to punch you to wake up.

Grow some balls and make up your mind, kids.


// Disclaimer: Not really into this kind of situation. I just felt like blogging about it. Lol//