It has been exactly a year since we broke up today.
Somehow, the universe felt the need to test all our stars.
You were suddenly calling me and I hate myself for not even hesitating to answer.
I answered and there you were. The face I missed.
We talked. You asked me what's up and all that.
We laughed. It hurt seeing you seeing me smile and your eyes telling me how you missed seeing me smile and laugh.
I hate how you look at me when I'm smiling or laughing.
I hate feeling like you still feel the same.
I told you, "it's gonna be a year since we broke up tomorrow."
You asked, "are you still waiting for me?"
I swear my heart ached a bit more cause I feel bad for myself for actually realizing that a part of me still is waiting.
I didn't answer but we both know what the answer was.
You told me, "I don't know why I feel tired when I talk to you but not the bad kind. Like a good tired."
I said, "I know. I'm boring"
You said, "No, you’re not boring. It's just that I get so comfortable when I talk to you."
Then we napped on FaceTime like we used to.
It has been a while since I slept that good.
You messaged me in the morning telling me, "That was a good sleep."
But, then, reality crept in.
Fate being a bitch dragged me back to reality.
It has been a year since we gave up trying.
Everyday I keep asking myself what if I never get over you?
What if time doesn't heal this time?
It has been a year and talking to you yesterday felt like my wound I've been working to heal up just opened up again.
I tried to focus on someone else just to get you off my mind but that obviously didn’t do the trick.
It has been a year and damn I wanna let this all go.
I've accepted everything that happened but why does it feel like I'm still trapped?
Why do I feel like spiraling down every time you reach out?
I'm honestly just venting on this post and I have no idea how to end this post.
It's been a year and every day I keep praying, hoping, wishing that I'll get amnesia from all of this.
Everything just keeps on reminding me of you.
It feels like getting amnesia is the only way out of the misery of you.
No comments:
Post a Comment