12 months later

That was 12:47 PM on a Friday, August 30th to be exact. I was at the office.
It was 13 minutes before my meeting and I couldn’t stop myself from crying.

".. the way I want it with you"
That part echoed in my mind several times.
If fate was fair, we would’ve been great together.

It has been a year and my heart still aches whenever you cross my mind, your smile, your face, or even hearing your name.
I prayed, I wished, I hoped for everything to work in our favor.
But, Andy, we lucked out. Maybe we weren't really just meant to be.

I've kept you as a part of my life even if we're not together anymore cause we've been through a lot.
But why does feel like the only choice to fully heal is to just let you go completely?
I just have to pick up the pieces on my own. One step at a time, right?

You know what's funny though, I'm not afraid of growing old alone but I'm afraid of the thought that I won't get over you... that time won't do it's job to make this love fade... this love and this pain.

I still think we met at the right time and you are the right person.
You were the right person for that right time.
I met you at the phase of my life when I needed to make myself believe in love again.
I can still remember the person I was before I met you.
I had commitment issues. I dated a lot. Partied and drank every week.
Dating a guy was so simple. I can even detach myself from the situation so easily.
I don't lose sleep over a guy. No feelings, no attachments, just plain old cold hearted, strong, independent me.
Then you came along and pulled me back to earth, melted my iced cold heart.
You made me believe in love again. You made me believe I can still be someone I used to know and better.
I may say I regret meeting you... out of pain or maybe when I’m drunk.
But I don’t. I don't regret the joy you brought to my life.

Maybe someday, I may not still be over you but I'll remember you with a smile instead of this pain in my heart.
Maybe someday, I won't tear up when someone mentions your name.
Maybe someday, I'll remember all our good times instead of the reality that we didn't end up together.

I was never afraid of growing old alone.
but..

Maybe in another life, things will be better for us.
Maybe in another life, it'll be forever and always.