Always and forever x

I've been closing chapters lately... And you know what, after I wrote that blog post (the one below this), I really moved on. Well, not totally moved on moved on. But I really don't care anymore. Maybe because I already said everything I wanna say. Almost.. but that will all do.

So back to closing chapters in my life...

I have decided to close the chapter I have with Edz. Well, about to.

I'm not good with goodbyes, I tend to push people away instead of saying goodbye for the last time.

For a person who has attachment issues like me, letting go of someone or something is the hardest thing to do.

And letting go of an almost 6 years old relationship... you must think I'm crazy right?

But hear me out.

6 looooooong years with Edz was like a roller coaster ride.

We had a fair share of break ups, cool off or whatever you want to call it.

He was the one who saw me when I was invisible.

He was the one who dragged me out of my delusional world for Jestin Yao.

He was the one who made me feel that I deserved to be loved.

I know, you're thinking how crazy I am now but the time will come when you will just get tired with all of it.

It just feels like we're not growing anymore and I am craving to grow more. You know what I mean?

Sometimes you just have to set aside all of the good things or happy memories or promises you both made and evaluate if that is what you really want for the rest of your life because let's face it, it's not always flowers and butterflies. You can't just hold on because of the memories.

It may look like a shitty relationship to others but, for me, it was a blissful roller coaster ride that I will never forget.

He will always have that special place in my heart. No matter what.

I know he'll hate me or he hates me already because of this.. for weeks, months or even years but we started as friends and I know, someday, we'll look at this the same way.

Di naman lahat ng breakups ay third party ang dahilan eh.

And I never thought that night, this night, was the last night I'll get a chance to hold this hand.
Just know that I tried. And tried. And tried.
But.. I don't want to be selfish.
I know. Someday, you can get all everything you gave me back so you can give it to someone worth it all.
I may regret this someday but I'll try not to.
You're one of the most wonderful things that happened to me.
I will always love you. Always and forever