It has been exactly a year today when I tweeted this.
I can still remember those days. It felt like nothing was making sense.
My mental health was probably the worst last year.
It felt like I was fighting a different demon everyday.
When I tweeted this, I can still picture myself. In bed, dark circles around my eyes, waiting for someone to save me, didn't wanna do anything at all, probably skipped work since that was a Tuesday.
It felt like I was stuck and it wasn't gonna get better at all.
But it did.
Today, a year later from that tweet, I can say that I've been feeling better.
I still get "those" kind of days from time to time. I still get sad sometimes. I'm still human lol
Mostly when I'm about to get my period– it is the WORST when I'm about to get my period but it's okay. Woman probs lol
That self love ain't a joke, y’all. I realized that once you've lost it or forgot about it, you lose yourself with it.
You lose yourself in a sense where nothing interests you, you don’t look forward to anything, you settle for things that are less than you deserve, every little thing affects you, you worry about everything, you overthink about everything – there's just no peace of mind.
If you've read a couple of my posts over the years, I am big on self love.
Loving myself has saved me from unhealthy and/or unnecessary emotional investments.
Cliché but love really starts with yourself.
It helps having healthy relationships around you but you can't really control how others, so starting with yourself is just the best way to go. No one else can help you better than yourself.
That peace of mind is the key. Everything is useless without that peace of mind.
Don’t tolerate people who makes you second guess yourself.
Don’t settle for situations that compromise what you deserve.
Never feel guilty about putting yourself first. It is never selfish.
People will say whatever they want to say whether you do it or not, so might as well do what you want.
People will always have something to say. Period.
Disclaimer: What I'm bout to say is not me being a fangirl but just facts. lol
Getting into BTS really helped me love myself better.
I'm not saying that this is sole reason but they are a part of me loving myself better.
Learning from their experience, listening to their music and watching their shows helped me wanna do better for myself.
Some would say, "but their songs are in korean, you can't even understand korean" – ever heard of google translate or Papago? LOL
Watching their shows gives serotonin boost. Their experience is just inspiring. I can talk about this all day but I'm just gonna list 3 songs from my playlist that comforts me during the days I don't feel like loving myself.
– Zero o'clock ~ basically, this song tells you that no matter what you're going through today, tomorrow is a fresh start and you'll be happy again.
"I'm the one I should love in this world
빛나는 나를 소중한 내 영혼을
이제야 깨달아, oh, so I love me
좀 부족해도 너무 아름다운 걸
I'm the one I should love"
Eng trans: I'm the one I should love in this world Shining me, precious soul of mine I finally realized so I love me Not so perfect but so beautiful I'm the one I should love
– Epiphany ~ this song tells how you should love yourself more than anyone in this world. Love yourself and your flaws. Loving yourself unconditionally.
"내가 나인 게 싫은 날
영영 사라지고 싶은 날
문을 하나 만들자 너의 맘 속에다
그 문을 열고 들어가면
이 곳이 기다릴 거야
믿어도 괜찮아 널 위로해줄
Magic Shop"
Eng trans: On days I hate being myself, days I want to disappear forever. Let's make a door in your heart. Open the door and this place will await. It's okay to believe, the Magic Shop will comfort you
– Magic Shop ~ this song was inspired with the book I recently read, "Into the Magic Shop" and I tell you, it was so gooood. The book teaches you to channel your fears to something positive. It tells you to love oneself and others.
These are just 3 of the songs that comfort me when I feel like doubting myself.
I know this has been a long post, I don't know why I love talking about loving yourself and all that.
I am not even halfway on unconditional self love. I still have a long way to go. I still have that "one of those days" moments.
Small progress is a progress.
And if you came across this post, I hope you find something or anything here that'll help you be a better you.
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