Sad, beautiful, tragic

I guess a part of me wanted to save him.

I wanted to save him from all the sadness and all the hurt he went through.

I wanted to make him feel that he deserves to be loved, that he deserves to be cared for.

I wanted to show him that love shouldn't be that complicated.

If this was a movie, it would’ve been a perfect match.

Two damaged people who got a lot of love to give and deserve to be loved.

But it is not a movie.

I don't wanna get into deeper details but the important thing is that whatever it is, I can’t be mad at it.

I realized it is really different with him.

After everything, I still want to protect him. I still want to preserve the moments we shared.

I still cherish everything he has shared to me.

I still appreciate how he is. I still can’t seem to get mad.

I wish I was just mad so it's easier to just forget about it.

I wish the ache I am feeling was caused by some other person and not him cause it would make more sense to me.

He keeps on telling me repeatedly how he doesn’t wanna hurt me, how he keeps on telling me I have a good heart. He was always been honest with me.

If that was any other person, I would’ve thought it was all bullshit.

Those words coming from him, I know he meant them.

Damn. What the fuck is happening to me? lol

I wanna be mad so bad.

I wanna be mad and just cry it all out until I can’t anymore.

But I can’t. I cried but it was more on because of the sad reality.

It makes my heart ache looking at his sad eyes and how he feels so bad.

I hate how can someone make him feel like that that easy.

I hate how someone can easily manipulate his emotions and how he's thinking.

I don’t really know how to fully close this chapter.