Dear John

Ending this month, ending this phase.

Wow. I don’t even know where to start though.
I’m just gonna start with how I’m still thankful our paths crossed in this lifetime.
I still am. However this has ended.
I don’t take back everything I said about him cause it's true.
He's a great person with an amazing heart.

It took a day. A day.
A day and then everything has changed.
It's crazy but I understand how it was.
I guess two damaged people can either fix each other or just break each other more beyond repair.
Sad to say it's the latter.
I'm glad I was able to see how happy his eyes can get before it all went down.
I’m flattered to get a glimpse of how it could’ve been with him, with his family and with everyone important to him.

Sheesh I don’t even know how to make my usual 'end phase' blog post for this.
We were always been in that friends... maybe borderline friends and kinda more to it but friends zone.
It was nice having to talk to someone who understands your pain, your struggles, everything you've been through.
It was a plus knowing someone you like liking you back.
It was like a fairytale where you didn't wish to wake up from.
How surreal was it to find a fellow damaged heart and feel that kind of joy around it?

Honestly, I’ve been staring at my laptop for 5 minutes now and I just don’t know what to write.
Last thing he said to me, 30 minutes ago, was he was gonna call me back... but I know he won't.
My heavy heart is weighing me down.
I can't move.
I know this won't be the last post for him... but this is the ending.

We were always meant to say good bye.
Maybe we were just two lost hearts who wanted company.