Happy feeling capsule

I just wanna blog to remember this feeling I’m feeling right now.
Had the longest fucking week but I'm glad how it turned out in the end.
I was sad af, been solo drinking – I know but I’m sure I’m not even borderline alcoholic.
Towards the end of the week, I found some light.

Have you ever had that feeling where you are liking this person and you thought he was so out of your league and that it will never, in a million year, be mutual? Well, yeah, been there a thousand times but like, this time, knowing he likes you too in the same way you like him feels like a dream. I am in that dream but the happy part there is it's not just a dream, but reality.

I mean, okay, ang oa.
I've been in that 'out of my league pero mutual feeling pala' kind of situation.
Like duh. I think Jestin being my first kiss back in 2007 speaks volume.
He was popular and a lot of girls like him during that time. I was – grabe ang panget ko nun. I can't even sugarcoat it. No kidding. I haven’t had my teeth fixed, my hair was all over the place, I have the worst fashion sense, I didn't know how to be confidently beautiful with a heart lol
But, Summer 2007, he saw me. We went out and all that and then he dated my best friend next and everything went batshit crazy.

But, anyway, that’s not the feeling I wanna keep in this blog post.

But this.

I never thought he will like me back like that.
He always treated me like a sister. He even tells me before that I'm like his sister cause I was dating his friend who's like a brother to him. We would always talk shit with each other and just laugh about it.
Then, I don’t know what is it, one day, the stars aligned and he's confessing.
Disclaimer: I'm not dating the friend who's like a brother to him. He has moved on and I’ve closed that door even before all this happened.
He was literally pulling the both of us out of the friend zone.
I used to have that little crush for him before just cause he's kind and cute lol
But knowing that he always felt that way for me and he didn't wanna step out his boundaries before cause I was dating his friend... it all feels surreal.

It's nothing serious. We're just enjoying each other's companies.
I don't wanna overthink this.
I just want to keep this feeling cause it feels good af.
The way he smiles and reacts while typing his replies to my messages, the way he's interested to what I have to say or my interests.
This feels fucking good that it scares me but, fuck that, if it means you have to be sad first to be happy, I'll take it.
Ha, maybe I just unlocked a level in my life of realizations lol

It feels good knowing can still see something good in you or see you as a whole during those time you feel so broken.
It feels good being out of that friend zone, for real lol
It feels good looking at his hazel eyes knowing that it's looking back at me.
It feels good to appreciated.
I'm still in cloud nine.