Dear self circa 2019,

This is a reminder that you made it.
This blog has always helped me during my lowest times.
Whenever I'm in that phase, I would just read through my past posts to remind myself how far I've become, how much I've dealt with and that whatever it is I am currently going through, I can and I will always surpass it.

6 months ago, I was probably lying in bed, feeling so unmotivated & debating with myself if I should push through with my Taiwan trip without a plan or anything.
6 months ago, I was recalling everything that happened for the past couple months and how I was so naive and how much it all drained and traumatized the fuck outta me.
6 months ago, I was feeling so frustrated because I suck at making my own decisions that made me be a version of myself that I swear I wouldn't go back to.
6 months ago, I had endless whys.
6 months ago, I felt so lost.

But today, 6 months felt like forever ago. I no longer recognize that version of me.
I can honestly say that I've made a big progress on loving and trusting myself again.
I don't feel lost anymore. I still have my whys but I don't dwell on them anymore.
I don't feel unmotivated anymore... except on my lazy days. lol
I feel motivated to go to work and it really helped being in a new project and meeting new work friends or just seeing old work friends.
I still have those hormonal-moody-overly sensitive kind of days.
But maybe that's how the universe tells me that I'm still human and that I'm not numb or emotionally unavailable. lol

But, seriously, I love myself now. I've learned how to love myself more again.
I am slowly but surely making myself whole again.
I don't feel lonely even when I'm alone. I feel more motivated to explore and learn new stuff.
I just feel like I'm full of life. I have that adrenaline rush to do everything I want to do.

image from Pinterest

If I'm reading this right now, I'm probably feeling like shit.
I just want myself to know that it's okay to feel like shit today but I better snap out it by tomorrow because I'm not a weak ass bitch.
I've come this far, I've been through a lot and I've always come out stronger. I will always will.
Everything really happens for a reason. We all just have to be patient and trust that God has a plan for us.