These are the words I held back

Almost 6 in the evening, at work, raining, not too busy today.
And here I am, listening to sad songs, thinking of you.

Blogger app was shit. I tried to create a post there and all of a sudden it force closed, my post wasn't saved. I was 90% done with the post, so, imagine how pissed I was.

I promised not to blog about you anymore but just like the other promises in the world, it was meant to be broken.

I never thought moving from someone who wasn't even an official ex could be this hard. I mean, C'mon!

Recently, a few mutual friends messaged me on facebook asking/telling me that you are planning on getting married. One thought you got married already.

The thought of you marrying that tramp is unsettling.

Fine, not a tramp. That girl.

I know, I'm out of your life for a reason. So I should just mind my own shit.

It just stings a bit. A lot. Still.

Maybe a part of me will always care for you. In a friendly way or not, I don't know either.

It's just unfair how you left.

You left with half closures and half promises.

You didn't even give me a chance to speak up.

Didn't you hear the doubt in my "I'm fine" speeches?

You left me wondering if she really makes you happy.

You left me wondering if it was all a lie.

You left me wondering if she makes you smile the way that I did.

You left me wondering if all the pity you said you felt for her developed into love.

You left me wondering that if I voiced out and fought for you, would you choose me instead?

I guess it's kinda useless and too late to say all of this.

But we both know that timing wasn't really our friend right?