Old habits

 It took me years to get over the feelings I had for you

At some point, I didn't even think we would remain friends for this long

I already closed my doors to the possibility of us

It is still closed

I don’t even know why I’m making this post but I just wanna get it all out

Cause I don’t wanna think about it anymore

It has been so long

I thought we have already outgrown our habits

We had the "we were young" card back in college

We were young, we made mistakes

We did irresponsible stuff that we don't even feel guilty or talk about like that

We're not in college anymore

I expected more from us

It wasn’t just your fault, I’m at fault too.

It takes two to tango

I feel bad for not feeling bad

I feel bad cause it was normal for us

I feel bad cause we didn’t have the need to talk about it

I feel bad cause I thought we already outgrown it

I feel bad cause we didn't feel any remorse over it

But, I guess, old habits die hard huh?

I guess, I just feel the need to feel this cause situation's different now

As selfish as it sounds, I just need to feel like a decent human being

I just need to feel like this isn't really me

But, as bad as it sounds, I guess I am

I guess we are bad people

I just hope this doesn't end up biting me in the ass

I hope as my bruises heal, this will fade out in my memory as well