Lost stars

You make my heart feel like it's summer when the rain is pouring down

I've always prepared myself for this moment.
This moment when I have to let you go.
I would always say, "I'll always be thankful even if it ends tomorrow"
But I never thought being in that moment will still be this hard.

Remembering how we started talking like that still gives my heart joy and puts a smile on my face.
It was surreal.
I wish I could keep you forever.
I wish things weren't the way it is, then maybe I could've kept you longer.

I'm just grateful that our paths crossed in this lifetime.
You're such an amazing guy. I wish you could see how I see you.
The girl for you will be so lucky to have you and your family in her life.

I will always remember how I would look at you and find you already adoringly staring at me with those pretty hazel eyes... and after realizing that you got caught, we would laugh in a way we both understand why.
I will always remember your face when you said that you're scared that you might hurt me. You're not the first person to say that to me but you were the first person who I actually believed to be sincere saying that.
I will always remember how your face lit up when you got the birthday present I got you and how you would show it off to everyone.

I will always hold it in my heart how someone like you loved someone like me.
My heart aches on how you would remember little things about me.
A part of me still wishes for you in the end.
I can only hold on to fate cause maybe... just maybe, if we were really meant to be, we would find each other again.

You deserve the world, Johnny.
You're a wonderful son. You're a loyal brother. You're a sweet uncle.
You're a gem.
You deserve waaaay better than me.
You would always tell me, "You deserve better than me", but jokes on you.
It's you who deserve better.
I can only wish that the girl for you would appreciate you as much as I do cause you deserve to be appreciated that much.
I hope when she finds you, I hope you welcome her with open arms.

I hope you learn how to open up your heart again.

You might've played around when you were younger (not even that much tbh) but, damn, how you've developed into this man who any mother would want for her daughter.
I will always appreciate that I'm 1 of the 2 women (as of today) who you've opened up to and felt those kind of feelings for.
You've brought out a side of me I never thought I had and for that I am more thankful as ever.
I can't stress enough in words how amazing you are but maybe that's a good thing too. So I'll always have parts of you, memories of you all for myself.

It has been exactly 2 weeks since we last talked.

We both know how it is. We both know it's for the best.

I had this post in my drafts for quite a while now, just waiting for the right time when I'm really ready to let you go. So here it is.
I know 5 years from now, I will still be thinking of you. I will still be thankful of you.
But.. maybe..
Maybe someday, maybe in another lifetime, we would find each other again and it would be perfect.

Maybe we're meant to meet in this lifetime but just not meant to be